If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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