Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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