dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
