I think I died a long time ago.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
50% drunk capacity currently
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
