Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
You've changed since you got that strap on
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
