I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize
