he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
