ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
