the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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