i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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