The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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