lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
