I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
