put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I think your dad took our porno
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
