I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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