I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
