I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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