apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
