The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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