Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
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