Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
