Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Randomize
