My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
