Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
