so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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