He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
You're like the curious george of whores
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
