It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
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