no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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