Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
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