I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Of course I have a pirate flag
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Randomize
