dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
We just shotgunned beers for America
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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