what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
