Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
