I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
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