I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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