So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
