i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
