We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Randomize
