College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
If I die, sorry about rent.
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