Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
worst night to have a conscience
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
you inspire me to be a worse person
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
