It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
