I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
