So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize
