I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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