My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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