there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
