We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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