woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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