A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
