So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
